A list of beautiful-yet-sad songs for those times when the music is the only proof that you’re not the only sucker in the world who loves someone who doesn’t love you back.


Lana Del Rey “Love”

I’ve always appreciated Lana Del Rey’s music but “Love” is a masterpiece that’s on a completely different level. This is one of my favorite songs at the moment.

Justin Bieber “Purpose”

So this year I’m turning a new leaf. And it’s all thanks to The Late Late Show’s brilliant host James Corden and his hysterical Carpool Karaoke. In the segment, Corden takes popular musicians on a drive around town where they sing, dance and genuinely seem to enjoy themselves, as if they were longtime friends. I admit, before seeing this segment I was not Justin Bieber’s biggest fan for various reasons. However, aside from the fact that his new music is his best to date, I can’t help but find him quite charming (at least with Corden, who seems to bring out the best in people) and an all around good sport for participating not once, but twice in the late late night shenanigans.

“Purpose,” which also happens to be the title of Bieber’s new album, is a song that I didn’t know I always wanted to be made. Here’s why: For me (and I’m sure for a lot of people out there), when I love someone I can never truly articulate exactly what I’m feeling; I can never put it into words. At least, not words that make sense. But then this song comes along with its gorgeous piano intro and four simple words that perfectly sum it all up: “You give me purpose.”

Admit it or not, we all want to find someone who gives us a reason to persevere, to keep going, hell, to get out of bed in the morning. And luckily, I’ve been blessed with such a person in my life. That person is my best friend, my guardian angel, and the one human in the world that I feel truly connected to in a more spiritual kind of way. That person is my 11-year-old goddaughter, Ava Raine.

I’ve always been the girl who had a million crushes on boys but was never asked out. The girl who guys would kiss but never date. I’ve had two “real” boyfriends and when I look back, it’s a good thing I didn’t end up with either of them. It just wasn’t love. That being said, I’ll be 30-years-old in less than two weeks and I can honestly say I am as single as they come. Of course I’m disheartened by that fact, and would love to fall in love and have that same person fall in love with me. But, life is life and for now, that’s not the way it is.

When all is said and done, while I am not currently in a romantic relationship, I know what love is every time I look in Ava’s eyes. In her presence I feel love, and it flows both ways. For reasons I’ll never be able to fathom, Ava has loved me unconditionally since the day she was born. In her beautiful eyes, I can do no wrong. It’s the purest form of love I’ve ever experienced. When we’re together, I’m often overwhelmed by a sense of peace and happiness that is not often present otherwise. She’s saved my life more times than she’ll ever know. In a million lifetimes I could never begin to repay her for loving me the way she does.

Ava Raine, you are my purpose. I love you.


Ashes Love Notes

I’m single. And not exactly thrilled about Valentine’s Day this year (or any year) but I plan on working out, drinking wine and pampering myself so there’s that. Anyways, even if I’m not in love currently, I can still appreciate beautiful love songs. Here’s a short(ish) list of songs that you may want to cozy up to with whomever your valentine is this year, even if it’s yourself. Self-love is important people. But I digress.

Rascal Flatts “Bless The Broken Road”: For all the hopeless romantics, like myself, who still haven’t found love but imagine this song playing during the first dance at their future wedding.

Dave Matthews Band “Crash Into Me”: An essential pick for all of us who can’t get over the phenomenal music of the 90’s. Oh, and the TV show Roswell.

Marc Cohn “True Companion”: A song that has elicited many tears from my eyes sung by a man whose music is a little bit like heaven on earth.

Train “When I Look To The Sky”: For my grandparents. Always.

Amel Larrieux “Make Me Whole”: Because I don’t think enough people have heard the beautiful dream that is this song.

Ellie Goulding “Your Song: Cover song magic.

Ben Folds “The Luckiest”: For the love of the piano.

Lifehouse “You & Me”: Because Jason Wade’s voice is love.

John Mayer “The Heart Of Life”: For the love of life and living in general. ‘Cause that’s really what it’s all about, after all.

And last but never least:

Disney’s “A Whole New World”: This song, from Aladdin, can be sung by any one and I will like it. Even me. And that’s saying something.

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